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Writing about a critique sandwich last week must have made me hungry. Today I have food on my mind.
These sugary donuts make me want to dive into the box and eat one. (Or even two!)
In real life, we can see, touch, taste, and smell these donuts. (We can maybe hear them if the frosting slides off in a big glop.)
In our writing, we have to see, touch, smell, and taste with words. How do we choose the right words, so that our readers long to step into our story and pop donuts into their mouths?
Just as in real life, we use our five senses.
Pick a donut from this box. Is it the braided cruller, or the donut with pink sprinkles?
What does it look like? The frosted donut was a pink, round rainbow with sprinkles.
What does it feel like? The sticky frosting felt like a smooth river of caramel.
What does it smell like? The cloying scent of the fat, puffy, sugary donut overpowered the room.
What does it taste like? The chocolate donut exploded in my mouth like cocoa fireworks.
Did you notice I used similes and metaphors to describe the donuts? Making comparisons is a great way to tap into our senses.
What does your donut look, feel, smell, and taste like?
I've written in Yellow Pencils about critique sandwiches.
No, they're not for lunch. They're better than lunch. This type of sandwich is for the revision stage of writing.
When we make a critique sandwich, we comment on someone else's writing in a helpful and positive way.
First, the bottom piece of bread. What is something you liked about the writing? Maybe it was the terrific character who rescues the stranded whale.
Second, the filling. What are some things you had a question about? Maybe you couldn't picture the setting. Or the dialogue seemed a little stiff.
Third, the top piece of bread. What is another thing you liked about the writing?
We usually make a critique sandwich for other writers. But what if we make one for our own story?
It's hard to be objective about our own writing, but a critique sandwich may help.
Take out a story you'd like to revise. It's time to make a sandwich!
First, the bottom piece of bread. What is something you really like about your story? It's not bragging to find the positive things in your own work.
Second, the filling. What are some things you need to work on? Try to look at your story with a clear eye. "Re-vision" means "re-seeing." Can you add more details to the description of the junkyard? Can your verbs be punched up?
Third, the top piece of bread. Find another thing (or things) you like about your story, then give yourself a pat on the back.
Now you know what's working well in your story (the bottom and top pieces of bread), and you probably have a list of things that will make it even better (the filling).
See? I told you this would be better than lunch.
The Newbery Medal for the most outstanding contribution to children's literature was announced this morning.
The 2015 Medal goes to The Crossover by Kwame Alexander. I'm really looking forward to reading it!
The story is about twelve-year old Josh, his twin brother, Jordan, and their exploits on the basketball court. A new girl, a budding romance, a brother relationship, and a family's bonds are all part of this novel chosen as best of the year.
The Crossover is written in verse.
With a bolt of lightning on my kicks...
The court is sizzling.
My sweat is drizzling.
Stop all that quivering.
Cuz tonight I'm delivering.
Have you tried writing a story in poetry form? It's challenging, but it can also be a huge reward for your reader.
For a fun exercise, take a page of your prose writing, and turn it into poetry, verse, or rap--it doesn't matter what you call it.
The verse doesn't have to rhyme. How do you like it? Do you want to continue in verse?
And don't forget to put The Crossover on your "to read" list.
Is your character--let's call him Bob--short, thin, stingy, tardy, and lazy? If so, your character has just had five adjectives to describe him.
Adjectives--words that describe a noun--are important in our writing. But we can overdo them.
The right adjective helps our readers "see" the world we're creating in our story.
How would you describe this tree?
green
mossy
dark
old
mysterious
wide
shadowy
tall
fragrant
spectacular
The list could go on and on. Some adjectives describe what the tree looks like: green, mossy, dark.
Other adjectives describe how we feel about the tree: mysterious, spectacular.
For our character Bob, or for a tree in your story, one adjective, the right adjective, may be enough.
Bob was a trusty friend.
The mossy tree dominated the yard.
Play with adjectives. Have fun with them. They're one more tool in your writer's box of wonders. Try to find the adjective that conveys exactly what you want to say.
For more about adjectives, see my earlier post in Yellow Pencils.
Yellow: an adjective!
I took this photo of a mailbox in Poland. I loved that it was bright red, and easy to find when I sent my postcards back home.
Not many of us write letters anymore. It's easier to text, right? But a letter shows that the person you're sending it to is important. You're taking the time to find paper, pen, envelope and stamp, writing your note, and going to a mailbox or post office.
Our characters can write letters, too.
Think about a character in your story. Could he write a letter to his best friend? Archenemy? Favorite athlete? Or grandparents? (Think about a thank-you letter your character REALLY doesn't want to write.)
Pretend you are your character. Find all the things you need to write a letter. Then actually write it on paper, revealing something that you didn't know your character wanted to say.
Put on a pretend stamp. Better yet, design one. "Mail" your letter in a pretend mailbox. Better yet, design that, too! Will your mailbox be red, blue, or orange-and-yellow striped?
How will the recipient respond? With anger, surprise, or joy?
Congratulations! You (I mean your character) wrote a letter.
The new year is a good time to think about beginnings, or openings to our stories.
I wrote about openings in a post last year. Among many possibilities for starting a story, I wrote about beginning with the main character's name.
"My name is Elizabeth but no one's ever called me that." That's the first line of How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff.
"Hello. I am Ivan. I am a gorilla." The Newbery Award winning novel, The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate, begins with Ivan introducing himself.
Then there's the famous opening to Moby Dick by Herman Melville: "Call me Ishmael."
Can you think of other novels or stories that open with the main character telling us his or her name?
Meg Rosoff's opening is intriguing because we learn the main character's name--Elizabeth--but there's also a mystery. How does Elizabeth prefer to be called, and why? (I'll let you read the novel to find out!)
Take one of your ideas for a story, or a story you're working on, and try out this kind of "introduction" opening.
Your main character, whether a girl, boy, gorilla, or sailor on a whaling ship, may reveal something you didn't know.
Welcome to 2015!
Are you ready to get back into the routine of writing?
Maybe you've been writing all through the holidays--congratulations!
Or maybe, with all the busyness of celebrating, you had to put your story or novel aside for a while.
Maybe you're tempted to quit. Don't! Now is the time to recommit.
Wally Amos, of Famous Amos cookie fame, said something I love:
"Not quitting means you live constantly where the action is, in the now."
Don't we all want to be "in the now," instead of living in the past or future?
We can do that by sticking with our writing. Our "now" is our current story or novel.
So wish yourself a happy new year, start writing, and live where the action is. I'll be right there with you.
