More Adjectives

Is your character--let's call him Bob--short, thin, stingy, tardy, and lazy? If so, your character has just had five adjectives to describe him. 

Adjectives--words that describe a noun--are important in our writing. But we can overdo them. 

The right adjective helps our readers "see" the world we're creating in our story. 

How would you describe this tree? 

green

mossy

dark

old

mysterious

wide

shadowy

tall

fragrant

spectacular

The list could go on and on. Some adjectives describe what the tree looks like: green, mossy, dark.

Other adjectives describe how we feel about the tree: mysterious, spectacular. 

For our character Bob, or for a tree in your story, one adjective, the right adjective, may be enough.

Bob was a trusty friend. 

The mossy tree dominated the yard. 

Play with adjectives. Have fun with them. They're one more tool in your writer's box of wonders. Try to find the adjective that conveys exactly what you want to say. 

For more about adjectives, see my earlier post in Yellow Pencils. 

Yellow: an adjective! 

Autumn Tastes

We're always looking for ways to use the five senses in our stories, right? 

Taste can be one of the hardest senses to include. We tend to overlook taste in favor of sight, smell, sound, and touch. 

Since so many yummy foods are associated with fall, this seems like a great time of year to let taste be the star of the show. 

Here are some of my favorite fall foods. What are yours? 

• pumpkin pie
• cranberry sauce
• squash
• maple muffins
• Halloween candy (Do you have any left?)

Choose one of your favorite fall foods and describe the taste. Is it spicy? Sweet? Sour? What about the texture? Is it smooth? Chunky? 

Here's my description of baked squash with brown sugar and butter:

The bite of squash melted in my mouth. It was as smooth as the butter it swam in. The brown sugar felt wonderfully sweet and gritty against my teeth. The squash tasted like Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled up in one. 

And that's just about enough. We never want description or our five senses to slow down our story--just a bit to give our readers a burst of flavor.

Now back to that Halloween candy….

Writing with Details

Following up on description (our topic last week), I've been thinking about details. 

Let's say a cat walks in and out of our story. Writing "the cat" may be just fine. 

But we may want the reader to "see" our cat. We can do that by adding details to make the cat pounce off the page. (Pun intended!)

Of course details aren't limited to cats. What about that bed in your story? Is it queen-size or a bunk bed (and does your character sleep on the top or the bottom)? Is the tree outside the window a poplar or a birch? Are the shoes your character grabs flip-flops, high heels, or hiking boots? 

Pick an object in a story you're currently working on. Add just enough details to make us "see" what your character sees.

Back to cats. Here are a few details for "Miss Fluffy" above: 

Miss Fluffy stared intently at the mouse. Black patches like tar covered her face and body. Her ears bent forward, ready for the tiniest squeak. 

We don't need to go overboard with details: a little goes a long way. Try adding a few details--it's like sprinkling salt or pepper onto your story. 

Description: Chocolate Shampoo?

Do you like chocolate? I love it.

What do we do with chocolate? We eat it or drink it, right? 

But what if we invented…Chocolate Shampoo? Yes, Chocolate Shampoo!

We can have fun with description by creating an ad for this totally new product.

New! Choco-Choc Shampoo! 

Is your hair tired and drab? Does it feel like dry straw?

Try Choco-Choc! Our new product puts the zing of chocolate into your hair. 

Your hair will feel silky, smooth, and best of all--chocolately. It will smell divine, like sugary sweet cocoa. 

Have a good hair day every day. Try Choco-Choc today!  

Now it's your turn. Don't forget to give your Chocolate Shampoo a cool name. And remember, don't drink your shampoo. 

Writing About Dads

Next Sunday is Father's Day. 

It's a time to celebrate our dads, stepdads, grandpas, or other guys in our lives who are like a dad to us.  

How would you describe your dad? What does he look like? Is he bald, or does he wear his long hair in a ponytail? 

How does he like to dress? Does he wear his comfy old T-shirt? Does he have a favorite pair of beat-up sneakers? 

What makes your dad unique? How does he laugh? Have you ever seen him cry? Does he like to cook? Ride a bike? Watch vampire movies? What does he hate to do? 

Do you have a special memory of your dad? Something you did together, or something he told you that you'll never forget?  

How are you like your dad? How are you different? 

Write down in words a "portrait" of your dad, or someone special who's like a dad to you. Remember to include details that make this person like no other.

And don't forget to tell him, "Happy Father's Day!" 

Description and Setting

Description and setting. 

Boring, right? The parts we skip over?

Wrong! At least, not if description and setting are written in an interesting way. 

So, how to do that? 

Here's an exercise:

Pick a character from this list:

• a homeless person who carries a pet tarantula
• a waitress who's a millionaire
• a hippie who joins the army
• a guitar-playing banana
• a reporter for a vegetarian magazine 

Then pick a setting from this list:

• a suburb in the clouds
• a water theme park 
• a shopping mall in the middle of the night
• an underground hideout
• a coffee shop that used to be a firehouse

Let's say we pick the guitar-playing banana and an underground hideout. 

How can we describe both with some revealing details? Don't worry what the story's "about." Just a little description about the character and setting. 

Bob the Banana strummed his guitar. It was way too big for him, since he was only seven inches tall. Plus it was hard to hold the guitar with no hands. He couldn't play loudly because the underground hideout had flimsy walls. They were damp, too. Bob had lived here for 5 years, which is a very long time for a banana. He had to admit, he was starting to smell. 

What do we know about guitar-playing Bob? He's seven inches tall, he has no hands, and he smells. What do we know about the underground hideout? The walls are damp and flimsy, not soundproof. 

Now, with these revealing details about character and setting, we can go on to ask questions.  

Why does Bob love to play the guitar?
Why has he been living in an underground hideout for 5 years?
Who is he hiding from?

We're on our way to a story! All because we explored description and setting. Try it. And don't forget to eat your bananas. 

Writing about Fall

I love fall! 

Call it autumn, fall, or just plain beautiful, this season makes me want to run outside and jump into a pile of leaves.

One of my favorite picture books about fall is Fletcher and the Falling Leaves, by Julia Rawlinson, with pictures by Tiphanie Beeke. 

Fletcher, a young fox, worries when the leaves on his favorite tree change color. Is the tree sick? 

Here's how the story starts:

The world was changing. Each morning, when Fletcher bounded out of the den, everything seemed just a little bit different. The rich green of the forest was turning to a dusty gold, and the soft, swishing sound of summer was fading to a crinkly whisper. Fletcher's favorite tree looked dull, dry, and brown.

Fletcher was beginning to get worried. 

Gorgeous writing! 

Julia Rawlinson took a risk by starting a story with description. Don't some of us skip over that part of a story? But her description is so detailed, she paints a picture of Fletcher's world.

Notice the alliteration--the soft, swishing sound of summer. She contrasts that with--dull, dry, and brown. 

Try writing your own description about fall. 

Describe one leaf that you find on the sidewalk. Or start a story with your character catching leaves as they dance through the air. 

Go outside and smell the crisp air. Each neighborhood has different scents in the fall. Write down yours, from the wood smoke rising from a chimney, to the rotting stick on the side of the road. 

Happy fall. Happy descriptions. And check out Fletcher and the Falling Leaves to find out what happens to Fletcher's tree. 

5 Writing Prompts to Get Your Pens Moving

Need a writing prompt to get your pen or keyboard moving? Try one of these:

1. Invent an ad for a new shampoo made out of vegetables. 

2. Create a superhero who saves civilization with a magic scooter.

3. Find an ad in the newspaper for a lost pet. Describe the family that placed the ad.

4. Think of a movie you've seen recently. Write a new ending. 

5. Compare a person in your life to an animal. Write a story in which the person turns into that animal. 

Try writing for 15 minutes without stopping. That should get your pens moving and the ideas churning! 

Three Colors Your Character Would Never Wear

Do you have a favorite color? (I have two, purple and green, especially when they're together.) Do you have a least favorite color? A color you hate? A color that makes you feel sick? A color you would never wear?

Guess what? Our characters have opinions about color, too. Our characters' opinions can surprise us. What if the captain of the football team loves hot pink? Or if a ballet dancer's favorite color is army-green? We can use our characters' favorite or least favorite colors to reveal something about who they are.

Think about a character from a story you've written or a story you want to write. What are three colors your character would never wear? Write a paragraph from that character's point of view telling us why.

Here's one of my characters talking:

The worst color ever is puce. Doesn't it sound horrible? In case you've never heard of puce, it's dark red-brown-purple. It's the color of throw-up after you've eaten a bowl of Spaghettios with grape juice. It's the color of that stuff on the bottom of your shoe after a dog's walked by. It's the color of mud on a rainy day after you slide into third base, and your face is slammed into the mud and it's splattered all over your teeth and hair. It's the color--but you get the idea. Don't ever wear puce. I don't.

What are three colors your character would never wear?

Adjectives

Adjectives are those great words that describe things. They can be short: wet, dry, thick, thin, pink, green (or short). They can be long: wonderful, extraordinary, shadowy. They can be "show-off" words: splendiferous, iridescent, capacious.

Whether the adjectives you use are big or small, it's a good idea to have them in your writing for a reason. Adjectives have a job to do. Choosing the right adjective is the difference between something being tall or something being gigantic. Big difference.

What adjectives would you use to describe the cactuses (or cacti) above? Some adjectives may simply describe the cactuses physically:

thorny

prickly

sharp

spiky

spiny

Other adjectives may show how your character feels about the cactuses:

dangerous

friendly

charming

stately

Find an object outside or in your house. It could be a stop sign or your bathroom faucet. Describe the object using one or two adjectives. Will you use adjectives that describe the object physically? (a tall, red stop sign) Or will you use adjectives that use emotion? (a sad, battered stop sign)

Does a stop sign need to be described with adjectives? After all, everyone knows what a stop sign looks like. Do you need to tell your reader that it's red? Or is there something different about this particular stop sign? Is it muddy, faded, or rusty?

Have fun playing with long, short, moody, silly adjectives in your writing.